Tuesday, 30 March 2010

Sigh... does it ever get easier?

This year Kel started High School... new change, new opportunities, fresh start. Academically he's all over the place but has made VAST improvements. We've gone from 2/10 in a Yr 8 spelling test to 10/10 doing Yr 9 work in a matter of weeks. One of this weeks words was onomatopoeia {I had to google that one to learn both what it meant and how to say it}... personally, I think he's doing so well.

Today I had a meeting with the school nurse, chaplain, year co-ordinator and psych... oh yes, that felt uncomfortable being under that microscope! I have learned that while I have a child who is doing much better with his school work in some subjects, in others the teachers can't control him and he often refuses to do the work and walks out of class. How does a child have such a vast change between classes! At home I have a vibrant happy child who makes me laugh everyday, who gives me hugs and says I love you, at school he has no friends and isn't trying... he isolates himself but is so very lonely but doesn't 'get' how to make friends with the kids that are trying hard to make him feel not so alone... it's like he's happy to stay the 'victim' because that's his comfort spot, he knows the boundaries there. It breaks my heart...

So we have agreed we have some problems to deal with, the first being trying to get him to participate with activities involving others... we discovered he's only happy in the classes where he has little team work {again isolating himself}. Then we need to find a way to help him learn to be not so socially awkward, and that's going to be the hard part because he's always been that way, it's a part of who/how he is... he's going to need some professional help again, because he needs to help himself break free of the world he's put himself into before we can all help him build on it, and I don't have the skills to get him there alone. I hope once we can do that and build his confidence again that he can be happy and enjoy school, it's such a precious time in our life.

In the meantime... here we go again, ready for another roller-coaster ride!

Take care of you.


  1. Mistra I know it is wearing you down always being the strong one, but you can do it, you have lots of friends and people that are here to support you. Kel has shown such massive amounts of improvement in such a short time, with more awareness and support of his needs he will continue to improve in leaps and bounds.
    How lucky is he to have you as his Mum :) xxx

  2. Mistra, I feel like jumping on the nearest plane and giving you the biggest hug.
    Reading this post just broke my heart.
    How hard it must be for you to watch your boy go through all this. I'm glad he is getting all the help he can and I am sure one day, like his spelling, there will be that break through.
    He is so lucky to have such a wonderful Mum like you, standing next to him, helping him fight his battles.
    "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."
    Helen Keller.
    Thinking of you

  3. Mistra I get a bit mad at schools sometimes, even IF Kel was say a footy player and had heaps of friends etc and was good at school what is to say that he would be happy??? I have two social butterflies but Steven is quite happy to spend his time at home on his computer or playing X box - he doesnt need to have a million friends and be going out to be happy and content with himself. I understand the school has the best of intentions and is trying to help but just remember he comes from a stable, loving home and and you are a great Mum so dont beat yourself up about it too much huni
    Luv Jen xxx

  4. Thanks lovelies! Today I am feeling much better, I'm so grateful that I have a great support network around me to get through these things!

    The school is being very supportive and I'm more than happy with what they are doing, makes a change from Primary School!! I left out that Kel wants friends, he's very lonely... but has no idea how to make friends, he just doesn't get that you are supposed to ask them how they are, what they did on the weekend, ask them over etc etc. He gets on better with little kids and adults but his own age group is a mystery to him. We'll get through and help him be happy... in time!

    Meanwhile... I think Easter needs lots of outings, walks down the river, drives in the country and many movies to be watched together!!

  5. Mistra, after reading that heartfelt post I too feel like coming over and giving ya a hug...all I can say is hang in there girl, you are lucky about being at such a supportive school(I know) just trust that he will get the help he needs and with you and your famili'ys love and support he will get through this

  6. Mistra I really hope that things do improve for you all, especially Kel. His progress is sounding very promising.He is one lucky boy to have so much love & support.

    Wishing you all a very safe & happy Easter